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[12:14am] sitting on the couch. In the last 24 hrs I:

• Went to the botanical garden with my family for their christmas lights show. It was cold but fun and we took some cute pictures. They had a little train model that I thought was really cute as well
• Lamented about how much more uworld and anki cards I have to do for the peds and obgyn shelf exams (I have around 160 peds and 20 obgyn questions left lol, a couple thousand cards, etc etc etc, what is new)
• Thought about reading but didn’t actually read much
• Ate crackers and cookies to celebrate the new year while texting sylvia

I thought about some new years resolutions ideas but didn’t really come to any super conclusive idea, like, this is definitely what I’m going to do this year! I had this thought of “this is the year I fight back,” i.e. I’ve felt really defeated in 2025, I feel like I’ve just watched helplessly as my mental and physical health have declined, my body has changed, my friendships have eroded, my room’s gotten messier, so I dream of having some semblance of control over my life, so that I don’t feel like things are just slipping through my fingers. I want to hold the reins a little tighter this time.

For what it’s worth I am going to actually try the whole hips and abs thing in 2026.

To do list:

• Buy tickets for the thing that kevin invited you to
• Start sylvia’s calendar project

2026 to-do list:

• Fill all my notebooks. Yes, I’m serious lol.
• 90% percentile step 2
• Research project on trans patients
• Try the hips waist ass abs thing for 30 days straight. What I mean is the body weight stuff that you do in your room

Images that I want to see in 2026:

• I want to see a planet fitness treadmill.
• I want to see that 260 step 2 score.
• I want to see someone really beautiful in the mirror.
• I want to see sylvia’s hand in mine as we move into our new apartment.
• I want to see my window wipers replaced.
• I want to see my notebooks filled again.
• I want to see some cool finished product with touchdesigner and ableton and stuff…
• I also want to see my new boox little ereader girlie
• A lot of finished books yay

thinkin it’d be rly fun to write and produce maybe i think it’d be fun and i could get sylvia to sing along too.

[1:05pm] I woke up at like 11 and then spent a while scrolling on twitter before getting out of bed (yes I’m addicted again) which figures. I still haven’t figured out which aspect of my life to obsessively track for 2026. Since I’m not sure which resolution to really commit to, I had this funny idea that I’d just try to do as many resolutions as possible and see what sticks. One idea I had was just, like, journalling and documenting incessantly, continuously throughout the entire year, as a way of recording my thoughts for posterity and also probably some kind of therapeutic gesture as well. So we’ll see if this sticks.

[2:39pm] I spent an hour or two digging around in my college dorm plastic bins. What I mean by that is when I moved out of my college apartment (6136 waterman blvd unit 2, bless her heart) that I had lived in through my junior, senior, and first college gap years, I dumped the entire contents of three years of living – all the detritus of my early twenties – into six or seven plastic bins before unceremoniously dumping them in the basement, and never looking into them again. One got flooded, which is what prompted this whole excavation – my parents asked me to look into the soaked bin and see what was salvageable. There was a lot to find including the charger for my old phone (which I will be perusing) and an old letter from Caroline in the pandemic era (which deadnames both myself and her ex-girlfriend, lol). Weird times. Other wins include a laptop carrying case.

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